I recently had the opportunity to talk with parents in the Early Childhood program of Roseville Area Schools about what parents can do to encourage their child’s interests and talents.  We talked about how as parents, we need to really notice and help our children discover and express what is unique about them. 

One of the best things we can do is to make sure our children have lots of opportunities to try new things.  How will we know our child is a budding Brett Favre if they never have a chance to play with a ball?  How will we know our child loves poetry, if they never get a chance to hear it?  How will we know they love to sing if they never get to hear music. 

Looking for a way to support children and families in our communities?  How are the Children? has posted  a list of organizations who accept donations of food, household goods, furniture, clothing, and cash.  If one of your New Year's resolutions is to clean and organize, bring food and/or your clean, gently used clothing, towels, sheets, coats, boots, etc. to one of these organizations. 

All of these organizations provide services to our neighbors and would be great places to support. 

In the past few weeks, I've talked with a couple of people who weren't aware that there is help for struggling families in Suburban Ramsey County.  If you are a resident of Suburban Ramsey County, including Arden Hills, Falcon  Heights, Lauderdale, Little Canada, Maplewood, Mounds View, New Brighton, North St. Paul, Oakdale, Roseville, Shoreview, Vadnais Heights, White Bear Lake or White Bear Township, and you or someone you know needs help with Basic Needs (food, clothing, shelter) our Community Resources for Family Basic Needs lists resources specifically available to children and families living in Suburban Ramsey County.  We also have a longer, more comprehensive list with more resources for families with young children. 

If you make only one New Year's Resolution this year, let it be that you will promise to take time to talk with your teens.  Many times, parents pull back from their teens just  when our kids most need our support and guidance. Your teen may act like you don't matter but research shows that the number one reason kids don't use alcohol or drugs is concern about their parents' disapproval.

The Partnership for a Drug-Free America asks you to promise to take the time to talk with your kids now by Making the Time to Talk Promise. 

Not sure what to say?  Check out these resources:

Building a Strong Parent-Child Connection

Parenting doesn’t have to be a “do-it-yourself” proposition.  In the “Building Strong Families” study, parents told the Search Institute that these things would help them as parents:  being affirmed for their parenting; having opportunities to talk with other parents; and having other trusted adults spend more with their children. 

If you are interested in encouraging trusted adults to be involved in your child's life, consider trying some of these suggestions: 

September 6-12 is national Suicide Prevention Week.  In recognition of this, we’re sharing the story of a girl named Sarah who, just over a year ago, took her life through suicide. 

In his grief and concern that no other parent ever experience what he experienced, her father shared their story in the hope that other parents will see the subtle signs and get the help they need for their child.

He shared, “Depression is a disease that some can hide.  Making the diagnosis is difficult for an untrained parent….Moodiness is normal.  Where is the line between moodiness and despair so deep that one takes one’s own life?  We lived with Sarah everyday.  We had dinner as a family almost every night.  We told her we loved her every day, several times a day.  Again, where is the line between moodiness and despair so deep that one takes one’s own life?  We didn’t see it.  Please, oh please don’t miss the signs.  Kids aren’t going to light them up like those on the side of the road.”     

In a letter to his daughter, he wrote:

When I started in my position as Coordinator of How are the Children? I met with many people who have been working to create healthy communities for Suburban Ramsey County kids for many years.  Kirsten Dawson shared some vintage copies of the PCN Communicator, the newsletter of the District 621 Parent Communication Network. 

This entry, written by Murt Seltz, in the December 2000 newsletter is still as good today as when it was written. 

“While working for the Mounds View School District, facilitating support groups for middle school students in single parent and step-parent family homes, I began to realize the important role that grandparents play in the lives of grandchildren.  Over the years I heard student after student talk about the simple things that were meaningful to them, and the comfort and security they felt knowing that someone beside their parents had a lifelong emotional commitment to them.  I began to realize, also, that we professionals had an untapped resource that could possibly be of support for children.

The key to reducing the likelihood your child will experiment with alcohol, tobacco or other drugs is to stay involved in their life, know who their friends are, and set reasonable limits on their activities.

Stay Involved in their Life

Risks of alcohol and drug use increase during significant social transitions including starting middle or high school and getting a drivers license.  Often these transition times are associated with more independence.  These are critical times for you to stay involved in your child’s life.  Your child is meeting new kids, is more interested in peer acceptance, and is more likely to be exposed to older kids who may be using substances. 

Recent research has shown that family dinners really matter.  According to the Center for Addiction and Substance Abuse, regardless of a teen’s gender, family structure, or family socioeconomic level, teens who eat dinner with their families often are more likely to:

• Do well in school
• Be emotionally content
• Have positive peer relationships and healthier eating habits
• Be at lower risk for thoughts of suicide
• Have lower levels of stress
• Be bored less often

Other findings include:

• Teens who have dinner with their families two nights a week or less are at double the risk of substance abuse as teens who have frequent family dinners.
• Frequent family dinners become more crucial as teens move from middle school to high school. 

Remember, family dinners are less about the food served and more about the time spent together.