The number one reason why kids don’t use alcohol or drugs is because they don’t want to upset their parents.  The most important thing you can do is give clear, consistent messages that you do not want them to use alcohol, tobacco, marijuana or other drugs.  Your strong "no use" message helps them choose not to use.

Instead of waiting to have “the big talk”, look for teachable moments to give them accurate information.  Start early because kids are exposed to messages about alcohol from a very early age. 

• Talk with your children about why alcohol is only for adults and, if you drink, the choices you make to be responsible about alcohol use.  Remember, our actions speak louder than our words.  If you are concerned about your own use, seek help. 
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• Talk about situations shown on TV or in movies.
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• Talk about news coverage about driving under the influence, death from alcohol poisoning, etc. 
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• Talk about the consequences of drinking, both short term and long term.

Don't let your own past use of drugs deter you from talking with your child.  The Partnership for a Drug Free America has created some tips especially for parents who have done drugs themselves. 

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• Talk about celebrity use of alcohol and drugs and the impact it has on their career, their family, their public image, etc.  Point out the embarrassing things that can happen when using alcohol or drugs.
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• Talk about peer pressure and how to handle situations your child may encounter.  Help them by practicing possible responses to friends who offer substances. 

Before teens start to drive, talk with them specifically about drinking and driving.

Talk about the consequences, including loss of driving privileges, being arrested, hurting someone, etc.

Talk about the dangers of riding with someone who has been drinking. Help teens think about how to handle a situation where a friend who drove is drinking or using drugs.

Look at your own example. Do you use or abuse? Your example is a greater teacher than your words. If you need help, get it.

Don't let fear, embarrassment, or your own discomfort get in the way of giving your child clear, consistent messages about drugs and alcohol.

Additional Resources:

The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism publishes Make a Difference: Talk to your child about alcohol, a free and easy to read booklet with accurate, relevant information to help you have important conversations with your children.

Parents. The Anti-drug has lots of resources for parents from how to talk with African-American or Hispanic teens to what to do when you're worried about a teen who is not your child. 

Partnership for a Drug Free America has powerful tools and practical advice for parents to keep their kids healthy and safe.  It has a Parent Toolkit with advice based on the age of your child, information on understanding teens, and a Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain.